Reflection...

Second blog and I feel after a particular lecture a little bit of reflection is in order. The lecture was on the horrors that some past student have drawn. Whether it be for the interview for the course, or things they’ve done very early on in the course. It made me realise how much of the game art industry is hidden to the public. It creates false ideas about the work people in the industry are expected to do. So many young people, including myself, instantly say they aspire to become a concept artist. Mainly because of all the beautiful finished pieces they see when they type, ‘Game Concept Art’ into google images. I know this, because I was exactly the same for a very long time. I designed a whole bunch of characters and even a storyline for a game. At one point, I actually wrote a letter addressed to a game company, that explained what I sent them, which was probably 100 odd pages of character designs and an in depth story of the entire game I had created. I did this at about the age of 13. Looking back it’s incredible to see how deluded a young teen can be. At the same time I think about the process I went through in order to create and conjure up the idea of submitting it. The whole writing and designing process completely consumed me. I was so inspired and passionate, all my gaming influences, even since before I could remember, filled me with the passion and drive to create something which is usually done by a huge team of people, all by myself. Obviously there was no way the quality would meet industry standard, but the point is I believed so hard and wanted it so badly.

As I grew older and cynicism of the teenager came into play, I lost that drive. I went to Art College as I loved art in secondary school. I saw school, as doing my time, a sentence, something I had to do, just to get through it. Then I could be free to take any route I wanted, but in the midst of all that, I actually looked forward to walking to that art room. Where I would be greeted with the biggest smile form my art teacher and I would be made to feel valid, not a person that people saw and never heard. It was here I was pointed in the direction of Art College. Where my passion for the subject, kind of nose-dived. Seeing as it was something I was constantly doing, it became a chore. Something that had to be done, and not because I wanted to do it. I lost all passion for concept art and I drifted through college like it was a monotonous dream. We had to specialise and I looked back at that game I created. I realised game art was all I really remember feeling passionate about, in terms of a career. So I chose graphic design, but as you know from my last blog, I hated it. Because of the tick box system of assessment they had there, I came out with the second highest grade available. At not one point did I feel I earned that grade. I was spoon fed to the point that one ‘wafer thin mint’ would have finished me and my integrity, would literally throw itself off the tallest building it could find.

I wanted to find that passion again, so I added a few refined versions of my character designs to my portfolio. With this post, there should be some photos of some characters I managed to colour in Photoshop. Since coming to uni I’ve realise they’re not the worst things in the world, but they are nowhere near industry standard. Bear in mind I planned to send even less industry standard scribbles from my 13 year old self to a highly recognised games company, I’m glad I saved myself the embarrassment. Even though I plan to get to industry and I’ll look back on the original character designs and laugh, but they were the start of this journey. Yet I’ve only just realised that. I want to earn my degree unlike college, and it seems the graft has to be there for this course in order to get it. So I best get my finger out, it’s a very fast paced work load, but that the industry for you. Just have to man up and get on with it. Wish me luck.